Craigslist "funnies"

[Brendan W]

http://www.donedeal.ie/vintagebikes-for-sale/rare-trike-project-forsale/5822672

Only needs finishing - very rare. No tyre kickers or time wasters please - serious enquiries only ?

[aaaaaaaaaachooo]

http://daytona.craigslist.org/mcy/4132227626.html

^ Is the bike not working, or is the guy not working?

[Tamara]

http://daytona.craigslist.org/mcy/4132227626.html

^ Is the bike not working, or is the guy not working?

And all this time, I thought those were Kawasaki Vulcans. Now I know it's a valcon .

[slayer61]

http://daytona.craigslist.org/mcy/4132227626.html

^ Is the bike not working, or is the guy not working?

and he says that it's
"to big foe me." possibly an English major? no, wait... he works for the government, he says!

[Griffin]

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

My eyes!

http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/mcy/3978602831.html

Cool 1983 honda CB 550 SC Nighthawk - $1700 (Greenwood)


2013 Camaro green paint, hand drawn "RAT FINK" on tank. Cool bike, Runs great! fun bike, gets lots of looks!! please call Kevin anytime at #317-409-7218 asking $1700. OBO.

[Steve]

... he works for the government, he says!

Yet another oxymoron.

.

[aaaaaaaaaachooo]

http://daytona.craigslist.org/mcy/4134398905.html

Seriously? LOL

[SVSooke]

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

My eyes!

http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/mcy/3978602831.html

Cool 1983 honda CB 550 SC Nighthawk - $1700 (Greenwood)


2013 Camaro green paint, hand drawn "RAT FINK" on tank. Cool bike, Runs great! fun bike, gets lots of looks!! please call Kevin anytime at #317-409-7218 asking $1700. OBO.

Where in the heck do you get orange header paint????

[cowboyup3371]

How much would you like to bet that's just Rustoleum from Walmart? It will probably burn off the first time he starts it and then he'll complain about how it's a crappy paint.

[jsandidge]

funny to me

Some people may like this, but it looks kinda funny to me!

http://norfolk.craigslist.org/mcy/4140964410.html

[Gorminrider]

http://www.donedeal.ie/vintagebikes-...orsale/5822672

Only needs finishing - very rare. No tyre kickers or time wasters please - serious enquiries only ?

I have a rare trike project forsale . It's a citroen 2cv with a mz front end .it runs but needs finishing . I'm only selling as I won't have the time to finish it as I've my first child on the way and i need the cash . No tyre kickers or time wasters . €1200 Ono as I said it's very rare.
He's not lying-it's plainly one of a kind .

(So That's what a Deux Chevaux engine looks like)

[Dodik]

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html%3C/div%3E

1997 Jeep Cherokee - $1750 (Enid, OK )

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bull**** job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's ****ed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of **** honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a ****. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an ******* - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.


Location: Enid, OK
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: 4119280944 Posted: 2013-10-09, 11:39AM CDT Updated: 2013-10-09, 3:36PM CDT email to a friend
Avoid scams, deal locally! Do NOT wire funds (Western Union, Moneygram).
Beware cashier checks, money orders, shipping, non-local buyers/sellers. More info

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[aaaaaaaaaachooo]

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/41192...html%3C/div%3E

That's a pretty epic post. hahahahaha

[aarongs1100]

Some people may like this, but it looks kinda funny to me!

http://norfolk.craigslist.org/mcy/4140964410.html

I like it id just paint it and redo the seat and get a wider tire from a GSX-R and it would be a nice bike

[cowboyup3371]

These pictures sure make me want to go see the bikes. No editing done to them on my part to fix them up

bikes for sale cheap (huber heights)




I have three bikes I need too move a Honda rebel 450 kawaski kz650, 550gs old and couple of part bikes call rick 937 520 1131 anytime before 10pm Honda rebel will take 300 for kawaski is 450 Suzuki take 500 all are running bikes just needs a little work