Craigslist "funnies"

[850GT_Rider]

Cow Pie?

He's selling a what? Is that some kind of way of saying Kawasaki?

Reply ncbpd-3917388778@sale.craigslist.org Posted: 2013-07-06, 10:03AM CDT
1982 Cow Pie Trans - $3500 (Rockford )
It is a complete rebuild. It has new rods,
pistons, & barrings. It also has an old
style rachet lid transmission.If interested
call (815) 963-3144
Location: Rockford

[Steel Toed Tank]

This deserves to be here.



So Im not REALLY interested in letting this bike go. I am interested in getting a camaro of around the same year. I lowered this bike myself. Hand made the covers and covered them in tooling leather. i put a new front tire on. there is a rear tire but i have not put it on. this bike rides every Monday and Friday. its my spare commuter when i don't drive with my Mrs. if you have a camaro or fire bird or trans am you are interested in swapping. this is the bike for you.

(prepare yourself, have a seat if you are standing)

[cowboyup3371]

What are the wrenches for?

[Gorminrider]

HolyMoly!
good question! How does he get them off if they are all bolted on? hard to believe-A Wingnut that doesn't actually know how useful a wing-nut can be!
I'd love to see the Trans-am that rolls up to do the trade

[earlfor]

What are the wrenches for?

He lost the spacer washers for that shoulder bolt, so he used wrenches to replace the spacers. LOL

[earlfor]

HolyMoly!
good question! How does he get them off if they are all bolted on? hard to believe-A Wingnut that doesn't actually know how useful a wing-nut can be!
I'd love to see the Trans-am that rolls up to do the trade

It will be easy to spot because it probably have wrenches bolted in various places on the body and a hood covered in leather. heh

[Danesa]

Best part "(prepare yourself, have a seat if you are standing)".
I often sit before I throw up.

[nejeff]

If those are Snap-On wrenches they are probably worth more than the rest of the bike

[Spyder]

If those are Snap-On wrenches they are probably worth more than the rest of the bike

If those are flee market wrenches, they are worth more than the whole bike!

[GS1000G Shopper]

Would you risk going to jail stealing this car?

Seriously. The crime is the same if you steal a Corvette or a Mercedes. Something fishy about this one.

http://panamacity.craigslist.org/cto/3930150544.html

STOLEN! 99 Chrysler Sebring Black


99 Chrysler Sebring LXI black sanded down on most panels. 10am hour from east parking lot at American Value Lodge. Gold trim letters hole in muffler so it sounds a little loud. 384 6BV plate. Registration date of 08-14. Contact Michael at 704 308 0795 or Panama City Police Department.

[Vmass]

Problem?

I don't know............... something tells me less time at the bar may do this guy some good.

http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/mcy/3982821721.html

[Toasty]

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/mcd/3977168143.html

CL SF bay area north bay all for sale / wanted motorcycles/scooters - by dealer
Reply tb7nt-3977168143@sale.craigslist.org [?] flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of Posted: 2013-08-02, 6:06PM PDT
BMW R1100RT - Not Pretty - $1650 (santa rosa)
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We've taken in some real ugly bikes in the past, but this 1996 BMW R1100RT with 60k miles may be the most nauseating, retched, vulgar ladle of vomit we've seen in a while. You will upchuck a powerful stream of bile when you subject your unfortunate eyes to its abject grotesqueness, and, if you survive having your guts turned inside out, your friends and family will become violently ill just from your description of what you've seen with your now permanently traumatized eyeballs.

Amazingly, the bike seems to run quite well. The previous owner commuted with some regularity on this 2-wheeled cesspool. If it ran as bad as it looked, we wouldn't bother selling it. We'd just melt it down, cut it into squares, and make ugly side stand support pods out of it that are so hideous no one would be tempted to steal them.

We're thinking that the ideal buyer of this monstrosity is someone who's desperately poor, has horrible vision, and can fix things even when they are revolted by the sight of it. Does this sound like you? If so, I feel for you. . .

Under no circumstances will we provide any sort of warranty on this turd. We won't even warranty that it's a motorcycle. As far as we're concerned, we're just selling a blob of pre-digested goo totally AS-IS. You scrape it off the ground, pour it into your truck, and take it away never again to torture our sense of sight to the point of making us want to gouge our eyes out with a dull, rusty garden 3-tine garden cultivator (with a wood handle for comfort).

If you even mention wanting us to fix something that broke on the bike, we will take out a restraining order on you. And we'll laugh mockingly at you. Just don't do it.

So, now that we've established that this isn't one of those gems that get polished more often than it gets ridden, it's time to discuss the price.

According to the Kelley Blue Book folks, a 1996 BMW R1100RT in good shape should fetch $4,195. Our homely little pile of 3rd world dog excrement doesn't belong in the same language that the word 'good' is a part of. So our price must be less.

And so it shall be. Quite a bit less. A paltry $1650 plus tax, doc, and dmv fees. Yes, the price is phenomenal. But don't forget that this bike is ugly and sold 300% AS-IS (I worry that maybe I didn't drive these points home adequately, hence the reminder).

We will only take cash since we wouldn't trust someone whose judgment is so cloudy that they buy this clump of warm maggot-riddled manure to make good on a check. And credit cards are out since you'd ask the bank to reverse the charge as soon as you were sober enough to realize what an imbecility you just committed. So cash only!

Oh yeah, I should probably mention that this gruesome puddle of chewing tobacco spit comes with ABS, powered windshield, 3 bags, and a 55 gallon drum of ugly.

Forget about trading in your bike for this. If this glob of rancid rat guts is a step up from your daily ride, we don't want it within 200 feet of our edifice. Make your own ugly bike for sale ad.

Please give your money to Bill at Santa Rosa BMW-Triumph. (707) 838-9100 ext 2
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: 3977168143 Posted: 2013-08-02, 6:06PM PDT email to a friend
Avoid scams, deal locally! Do NOT wire funds (Western Union, Moneygram).
Beware cashier checks, money orders, shipping, non-local buyers/sellers. More info

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[earlfor]

I don't know............... something tells me less time at the bar may do this guy some good.

http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/mcy/3982821721.html

"My one of a kind motor bike was stolen last night in front of Paddy Barry's bar around 12:15 am. I hand built the bike myself and it is incredibly important to me. My wide left me, I had to pit down my cat, I lost my apartment and if I don't get the bike back soon I'll lose my job as Well. If the bike is spotted, PLEASE email me right away. 200$ reward if found. "

If I called my wife wide, she would leave me too. LMAO

[lurch12_2000]

another GS650 casualty

lost to the cafe racer makeover...

http://providence.craigslist.org/mcy/3982510804.html

At this price and only 17k miles, maybe source fenders, exhaust and airbox, a little paint, change tires back to something useful, and flip the shocks back upright and presto....back to a nice bike again. I can't tell if he chopped the tail off?

[Tamara]

lost to the cafe racer makeover...

http://providence.craigslist.org/mcy/3982510804.html

At this price and only 17k miles, maybe source fenders, exhaust and airbox, a little paint, change tires back to something useful, and flip the shocks back upright and presto....back to a nice bike again. I can't tell if he chopped the tail off?

Is he just an idiot to have put the shocks on upside down?