Craigslist "funnies"

[cowboyup3371]

Spiderman????

[earlfor]

Looks like he spent more time typing in all the searchable keywords than he spent in school.

Hate CL posts like that. Search for "Suburban" and a POS like that shows up.

Yeah, whenever I come across one of those ads with a paragraph of keywords attached, I spam report it for deletion.

[Frank Z.]

Telling it like it is...

1983? gs 1000 runs. needs work - $500 (west metro )

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/csw/mcy/3015689845.html

Leaks some fluids and needs carb cleaning.
tires are kinda ****ty . comes with retarded windjammer and bags.
battery sucks too. think it has 30000 miless

come get it best offer runs with a jump but won't idle

61. 2 59 7 663 9

[7981GS]

'81 GS1000G with a good seat, body parts and possibly exhaust.
Well worth checking out especially if it has a clean title.

Eric

[tom203]

This classic needs some loving- he's sorted out its problems to entice a buyer!

http://maine.craigslist.org/mcy/3018813478.html

[7981GS]

This classic needs some loving- he's sorted out its problems to entice a buyer!


http://maine.craigslist.org/mcy/3018813478.html

And just what is the hose running from the dash into the spark plug hole for?

Eric

[earlfor]

And just what is the hose running from the dash into the spark plug hole for?

Eric

Its a performance option. Haven't you ever heard of water injection?

[davidduarte]

honda 1971 cb750k1 - $6000 (newington)

Date: 2012-05-08, 7:46PM EDT
Reply to: hcch7-3004330331@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

selling my 1971 cb750k1 it,s in decent shape and far from perfect, there are not many of these left im asking $6000

http://hartford.craigslist.org/mcy/3004330331.html

[davidduarte]

http://hartford.craigslist.org/mcy/2999351211.html

71 H1 Widow Maker Kawasaki - $7900 (enfield)

Date: 2012-05-06, 11:33AM EDT
Reply to: rbdbh-2999351211@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

1971 H1 Kawasaki 500, one owner, bike, with title, about 2200 orig miles, gorgeous bike.

860 221 5789

[7981GS]

The H1 will probably sell for more than that price if the seller was to list it on Ebay.

Eric

[AFRetired]

Oh the humanity!!!!

http://chattanooga.craigslist.org/mcy/3012442900.html

"I am in desperate need of some help with my bike! I have a 1983 suzuki gs450 automatic chop that is running like a big turd!!!! I have in no shape or form any mechanical knowledge. When i bought the bike it ran perfect. had it for just a few months and began to tear it down n chop it out. after oh about 7 months or so the bike was finally finished, but since this time it just hasn't run like it was when i first bought it."


DUH!!

[old_skool]

Oh the humanity!!!!

http://chattanooga.craigslist.org/mcy/3012442900.html

"I am in desperate need of some help with my bike! I have a 1983 suzuki gs450 automatic chop that is running like a big turd!!!! I have in no shape or form any mechanical knowledge. When i bought the bike it ran perfect. had it for just a few months and began to tear it down n chop it out. after oh about 7 months or so the bike was finally finished, but since this time it just hasn't run like it was when i first bought it."


DUH!!

Reading the entire ad reminds me of a lot post on here, another who made all 10 newbie mistakes and then some.

[Don-lo]

Reading the entire ad reminds me of a lot post on here, another who made all 10 newbie mistakes and then some.

The bike above could be the poster bike for what NOT to do.

Yesterday I was asked to come look at a bike that wouldn't run (it did when he bought it!). He said he changed handlebars, so I thought maybe there were wires that were shorted. When I got there, it was an 85 Yamaha 700 virago that had been bobbed in back, straight bars added, struts in place of shocks, and a solo seat strapped to the frame. I shuddered visibly. I told him that I disliked these mutilations because they reduce the funtionality (and therefore the safety), and he was surprised I wasn't drooling over it. The damage was already done, so I started looking for the problem. The emissions stuff was removed, there were vacuum lines plugged and flopping about, but nothing noticeably wrong. I noticed that the petcock was like new, but did not have a vacuum line going to it. I started to check the carb bowl for fuel, even though he assured me there was plenty of fuel getting to the carb. Even after I showed him that there was no fuel in the bowl, he argued with me for 10 minutes that the PO replaced the petcock, but it wasn't exactly the right one, and it should run on "ON". I told him that without vacuum, it needed to be run on PRIME, and ON was now OFF. If he added vacuum, and the petcock operated correctly, then ON was good until RES was needed, and PRIME was just for filling the carbs. It was like talking to a brick wall, like I was just making this stuff up. I turned on the key and the bike fired right up, but he didn't believe I didn't do something else to fix it. The air inlet system was intact, so it sounded pretty good (stock muffler too). In the interest of proactive help, I told him not to mess with those things, especially the inlet, because CV carbs need the vacuum. He seemed to listen to that. I took the bike up the street for a block to look for any other problems, and found the clutch was barely engaged. The ride, of course, was brutal, and even a small bump at 20 mph went right up into your spine. When I got off the bike, I shook my head and said "yeah, it's a deathtrap". I think that got his attention. I explained that there is a reason for suspension, padded seats, and a seat height that doesn't fold your legs up like a jockey's, because your body will take only so much pain before you stop riding the bike. He seemed to listen, and said he may try putting the shocks back on, but time will tell.

Sorry for the rant, but these "funnies" are hitting too close to home!

[old_skool]

he was surprised I wasn't drooling over it.
he argued with me for 10 minutes
It was like talking to a brick wall, like I was just making this stuff up.
I turned on the key and the bike fired right up, but he didn't believe I didn't do something else to fix it.

These are four common key points, and craigslist starting to get littered with people asking for help along with trying to sell their abominations, you have way more tolerance than I, I emailed 2 different people, trying to help, (without being condescending) and had it thrown back in my face because they didn't believe or want to hear what really needed to be done to run, only wanted a magic pill to fix it. They both responded with childish profanity.
Never again, let-em end up in a scrap heap somewhere.

And this is usually followed up by (he was surprised I wasn't drooling over it.)
"my bike looks bada$$" heard that even on here

[Griffin]

These are four common key points, and craigslist starting to get littered with people asking for help along with trying to sell their abominations, you have way more tolerance than I, I emailed 2 different people, trying to help, (without being condescending) and had it thrown back in my face because they didn't believe or want to hear what really needed to be done to run, only wanted a magic pill to fix it. They both responded with childish profanity.
Never again, let-em end up in a scrap heap somewhere.

And this is usually followed up by (he was surprised I wasn't drooling over it.)
"my bike looks bada$$" heard that even on here

I keep an eye on these ads if it's a bike I may be interested in.

I save all the information, then wait three or four months. After that time, a call or an email to the guy asking if he ever got the bike running, and does he still need help. Inevitably it's "No, I guess I should get rid of it or part it out".

Using this method, one can sometimes pick up a pretty nice, almost functioning bike for $300 or so.