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I started out on a bad foot yesterday. Had an argument on the forums. Got called names and accused of misdeeds. Not getting along is one of my strong suites apparently. Morning continued a downhill spiral until I finally said to hell with it. I walked out the door at noon, got my wing and left. I hate days like today.
After riding a while in the beautiful Ar spring, sun and 75* with light wind my mind began to ease. Reflections started to come to mind on my part of what had happened and how I am too old, to ill, to grouchy... well you get the idea for this kind of thing anymore. Twisting the throttle harder, I run farther on away from home, really hating days like today.
As the time and miles pass by I finally start feeling my blood pressure come back down. Stopping to rest and have a smoke I can feel the sun slowly warming the spring day. Scents of wild flowers and other sping time smells float by.
I had noticed going across Texas and New Mexico, all the wonderful old barns and homesteads, funny how you get so involved in life where you live that sometimes you can just miss the natural beauty of a place at that time in your life... I hate days like that.
As time passes I know I really should turn back and head for home... I have lots of work to do waiting for me but I just cannot force myself to do it... so turning North I give my ole wing some leash and let her out a bit.... I don't want to go back. Damn responsibility for pulling at me again. Not today. Not after all that has happened. I hate days like today.
Man, there are those days, when you just feel apart, disconnected or even "outside" of everything. I bet most of you know what I am talking about Time is really starting to pass now without my noticing because for me it seems to be standing still as I continue on thinking how much I really, really hate days like today.
Am I trying to out run my problems??? What am I doing so wrong??? How do I fix this, how do I save that, how do I handle this other... time blurs as I continue North not caring anymore that I get back anytime today... another day like today and I could just sit down and cry. That lake sure looks nice. Maybe I will go there and perhaps find some solace.
I smoke no less than 3 ciggs here, just admiring the lay of the sun on the water and the view. Life can be so simple when you are here, lost in time on my wing. Why can't life be that simple during the other times? Why is everything so complex while I am so simple minded? By now I am really feeling so inadequate, so not "cut out" for life’s challenges... sometimes the saddle truly is the only place I feel at home.
Moving farther North, something makes me turn off and head west... I am also starting to finally realize some things... the pieces are finally starting to fall back in place again. I can be a real jerk. I have probably been the one messing things up. I really hate myself for days like today.
Looking at scenes, surreal as they are I again start to see life as only temporary, life is only here for a short while and we are only human. I too am only human. All things pass with time... trees grow, streams flow, buildings crumble and hurts are eventually forgiven if not forgotten. Forgotten especially on days like today.
So I stay here for a while taking in the natural beauty of this place, and it finally sinks in that I knew these things all along. I just let my day and its problems blind me from them... another forest for the trees thing I guess. How many more days like today do I have to go through before I finally start showing some wisdom... I can be such a dumb a** even when I know better. When will my day finally come where I can season my thoughts and actions. I really wish I could start using some of this "maturity" or wisdom everyone talks about I should have by now. Especially on days like today.
Pulling back on to asphalt from the gravel road and turning South I am now starting to feel some better... damn I hate days that start like this...especially when I am the cause of my own problems. Why can I not learn to just shut up and not shoot my mouth off before my brains are loaded? Freaking days.... yea like this.
As I head on deeper into the mountains I am constantly reminded by the sun and my trusty old wing that this day too shall pass. Tomorrow will be a chance to do it better than I did it today. I hope I can make tomorrow a better day, instead of one like this.
Yea guess I had better head back after all. People are depending on me. It isn't good to run out. Especially on days like this when things get hard. It just makes them worse. Heading back with the weight of my responsibilty and actions heavy on my mind once more, I just have to stop one last time.
I have another smoke and take it all in. Maturity, responsibility, business, all of those things. I finally start realizing again that I just need to be thankful, even that I AM thankful and should be. Thankful for my family, my friends, for my business, responsibility, my Goldwing and other things. Just go back Chris. Go back and apologize. It will be OK. Tomorrow is another day. So I start heading for home with the sun going down over the Ozarks and I finally start to forgive myself a bit while realizing too that I AM actually grateful for all those things.... and most especially......... even for days like today.
AspectOne
*Edited for length and content to fit forum limitations.
After riding a while in the beautiful Ar spring, sun and 75* with light wind my mind began to ease. Reflections started to come to mind on my part of what had happened and how I am too old, to ill, to grouchy... well you get the idea for this kind of thing anymore. Twisting the throttle harder, I run farther on away from home, really hating days like today.
As the time and miles pass by I finally start feeling my blood pressure come back down. Stopping to rest and have a smoke I can feel the sun slowly warming the spring day. Scents of wild flowers and other sping time smells float by.
I had noticed going across Texas and New Mexico, all the wonderful old barns and homesteads, funny how you get so involved in life where you live that sometimes you can just miss the natural beauty of a place at that time in your life... I hate days like that.
As time passes I know I really should turn back and head for home... I have lots of work to do waiting for me but I just cannot force myself to do it... so turning North I give my ole wing some leash and let her out a bit.... I don't want to go back. Damn responsibility for pulling at me again. Not today. Not after all that has happened. I hate days like today.
Man, there are those days, when you just feel apart, disconnected or even "outside" of everything. I bet most of you know what I am talking about Time is really starting to pass now without my noticing because for me it seems to be standing still as I continue on thinking how much I really, really hate days like today.
Am I trying to out run my problems??? What am I doing so wrong??? How do I fix this, how do I save that, how do I handle this other... time blurs as I continue North not caring anymore that I get back anytime today... another day like today and I could just sit down and cry. That lake sure looks nice. Maybe I will go there and perhaps find some solace.
I smoke no less than 3 ciggs here, just admiring the lay of the sun on the water and the view. Life can be so simple when you are here, lost in time on my wing. Why can't life be that simple during the other times? Why is everything so complex while I am so simple minded? By now I am really feeling so inadequate, so not "cut out" for life’s challenges... sometimes the saddle truly is the only place I feel at home.
Moving farther North, something makes me turn off and head west... I am also starting to finally realize some things... the pieces are finally starting to fall back in place again. I can be a real jerk. I have probably been the one messing things up. I really hate myself for days like today.
Looking at scenes, surreal as they are I again start to see life as only temporary, life is only here for a short while and we are only human. I too am only human. All things pass with time... trees grow, streams flow, buildings crumble and hurts are eventually forgiven if not forgotten. Forgotten especially on days like today.
So I stay here for a while taking in the natural beauty of this place, and it finally sinks in that I knew these things all along. I just let my day and its problems blind me from them... another forest for the trees thing I guess. How many more days like today do I have to go through before I finally start showing some wisdom... I can be such a dumb a** even when I know better. When will my day finally come where I can season my thoughts and actions. I really wish I could start using some of this "maturity" or wisdom everyone talks about I should have by now. Especially on days like today.
Pulling back on to asphalt from the gravel road and turning South I am now starting to feel some better... damn I hate days that start like this...especially when I am the cause of my own problems. Why can I not learn to just shut up and not shoot my mouth off before my brains are loaded? Freaking days.... yea like this.
As I head on deeper into the mountains I am constantly reminded by the sun and my trusty old wing that this day too shall pass. Tomorrow will be a chance to do it better than I did it today. I hope I can make tomorrow a better day, instead of one like this.
Yea guess I had better head back after all. People are depending on me. It isn't good to run out. Especially on days like this when things get hard. It just makes them worse. Heading back with the weight of my responsibilty and actions heavy on my mind once more, I just have to stop one last time.
I have another smoke and take it all in. Maturity, responsibility, business, all of those things. I finally start realizing again that I just need to be thankful, even that I AM thankful and should be. Thankful for my family, my friends, for my business, responsibility, my Goldwing and other things. Just go back Chris. Go back and apologize. It will be OK. Tomorrow is another day. So I start heading for home with the sun going down over the Ozarks and I finally start to forgive myself a bit while realizing too that I AM actually grateful for all those things.... and most especially......... even for days like today.
AspectOne
*Edited for length and content to fit forum limitations.
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