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Hello motorcycle nutjobs, hope you all survived a week without a post from the 80gs1000e. Just back from a week in the Bahamas and had a great time but missed my Girl, Dogs and bikes in that order. On the way to the hotel all I could think of was how nice it would be to go riding on all these twisty roads with views of the ocean and beautiful foliage. I spied a few crotch rockets and a Hardley but mostly scooters. I tried to rent a motorcycle and called every place in the book but no luck. I even spotted a Rasta with a Honda CBR and asked him if he'de let me rent/ride. He kindly laughed, gave me a pat on the back and said something like, "mon, you must be crazy....this is my girlie......I feel you're missing your bike....but try the scooter, at least you can see the countryside."
So, I rent a scooter. Lots of rental places and all different rates. I want one for all day so its expensive. Find a guy that is renting his scoots for about 1/4 the cost of the competition which set off a caution flag in my head. Can't be that bad though, all of the scooters out front are very new looking. He brings my ride around from the back and upon seeing it, I get a bad feeling........mismatched body parts, no mirrors, no signals, no lights, bald tires, bad brakes (no rear), no gauges working and about 10 degrees out of alignment. Now I see that those new scoots out front belong to the hotel next door, his stable out back looks sorry and tired but 1/4 the cost. WTF, who cares right? I'm eager to ride 2 wheels and get a taste of this British driving on the wrong side of the road traffic. I just read an article about how tourists get all smashed up on vacation because they take risks that they would normally never take. Whooo hoo, that's me too! So I decide to ditch the sandals at least and wear my protective gear.....shorts, t-shirt, running shoes and sunglasses. I get a helmet which doesn't fit too!
Check the gas and I'm off! Scooters everywhere and everybody is having fun. I decide to get out of the tourist areas and get some "real" riding done on my big bad scooter. I follow the coastline for about 40 minutes and its absolute heaven. Warm air, sun, ocean, no helmet and no bulky heavy duty Joe rocket gloves, fiber armor jacket, no boots and no jeans or a helmet. I am a total rebel (idiot) and loving it.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....got the throttle totally wound out (perhaps 30 mph, no speedo work mon) and taking in all the goodness. I think about how much fun the GS would be here in paradise as I work the scooter for all its got! I stop a few times at isolated shallow beaches and snap some shots of the ocean and flowers....Well, I get out and into the more rural areas with the winding roads and little or no traffic. Beautiful roads for riding.....
That's when my scooter decides to shut down and die. No power, not even a burp after about 30 minutes of tinkering with every connection. I got gas, no electric and am out in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone, no tools and no idea of what to do. One second I am on top of the world, next second I am covered in sweat, grease and pushing the most sorry excuse for a two wheeled vehicle that one has ever seen down this beautiful winding isolated road. I knew that if I was like the 99.9% of other tourists that rent scooters and stay within 10 minutes of the rental place it wouldn't even be an issue. But I am stranded big time. That's when I started to panic a little bit, not knowing the area or the people and thinking that me and my scooter will be on one of those mysterious dissapearances shows on cable.
Well, I am even more of an idiot for thinking that way. Bahamas cops in an unmarked with pistols tucked into the waistline pick me up and joke with me about the situation. They do warn me about a few bad apples who will try and perhaps take advantage of a tourist like me out here but say that's only a very small group of people. Understandable. They also mention that no tourists hardly ever explore the island and that I should at least have somebody with me. I should have known better......Doh! They flag down a pickup and the driver without hesitation offers me and my sorry excuse for a scooter a ride. These guys are the nicest and most friendly people I have ever met. We go to the gas station where about 10 (no kidding) people converge on us to try and get the machine to fire. They are all laughing at how brave I am to ride such a machine and also to ride out into the country exploring. They give me water and are telling me all the spots to ride through where the tourists will never see. I get invited to dinner too! Nobody can get it to work after another 30 minutes and they try everything. Another guy gives me a ride back to the rental shack (it was a shack) promising to tell the guys if I get my money back or not (they are joking like crazy with me about how I would take such a piece of crap and really had me cracking up, they even place bets with each other on whether or not I'll get a refund!!!!). They coach me on how to go about complaining to the rental guy and the Bahamas Detective even gives me his information making me promise to call him if I don't get a full refund. Pretty cool huh? Well, I got a refund....an awesome ride (too short)...and got to see how kind and friendly the Bahamas people were. Even though I wish I had trusted my initial instincts, the whole experience was priceless. Next time though, I'm renting a new scooter and I'm going to finish that ride and check out the roads the local guys suggested.
So, I rent a scooter. Lots of rental places and all different rates. I want one for all day so its expensive. Find a guy that is renting his scoots for about 1/4 the cost of the competition which set off a caution flag in my head. Can't be that bad though, all of the scooters out front are very new looking. He brings my ride around from the back and upon seeing it, I get a bad feeling........mismatched body parts, no mirrors, no signals, no lights, bald tires, bad brakes (no rear), no gauges working and about 10 degrees out of alignment. Now I see that those new scoots out front belong to the hotel next door, his stable out back looks sorry and tired but 1/4 the cost. WTF, who cares right? I'm eager to ride 2 wheels and get a taste of this British driving on the wrong side of the road traffic. I just read an article about how tourists get all smashed up on vacation because they take risks that they would normally never take. Whooo hoo, that's me too! So I decide to ditch the sandals at least and wear my protective gear.....shorts, t-shirt, running shoes and sunglasses. I get a helmet which doesn't fit too!
Check the gas and I'm off! Scooters everywhere and everybody is having fun. I decide to get out of the tourist areas and get some "real" riding done on my big bad scooter. I follow the coastline for about 40 minutes and its absolute heaven. Warm air, sun, ocean, no helmet and no bulky heavy duty Joe rocket gloves, fiber armor jacket, no boots and no jeans or a helmet. I am a total rebel (idiot) and loving it.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....got the throttle totally wound out (perhaps 30 mph, no speedo work mon) and taking in all the goodness. I think about how much fun the GS would be here in paradise as I work the scooter for all its got! I stop a few times at isolated shallow beaches and snap some shots of the ocean and flowers....Well, I get out and into the more rural areas with the winding roads and little or no traffic. Beautiful roads for riding.....
That's when my scooter decides to shut down and die. No power, not even a burp after about 30 minutes of tinkering with every connection. I got gas, no electric and am out in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone, no tools and no idea of what to do. One second I am on top of the world, next second I am covered in sweat, grease and pushing the most sorry excuse for a two wheeled vehicle that one has ever seen down this beautiful winding isolated road. I knew that if I was like the 99.9% of other tourists that rent scooters and stay within 10 minutes of the rental place it wouldn't even be an issue. But I am stranded big time. That's when I started to panic a little bit, not knowing the area or the people and thinking that me and my scooter will be on one of those mysterious dissapearances shows on cable.
Well, I am even more of an idiot for thinking that way. Bahamas cops in an unmarked with pistols tucked into the waistline pick me up and joke with me about the situation. They do warn me about a few bad apples who will try and perhaps take advantage of a tourist like me out here but say that's only a very small group of people. Understandable. They also mention that no tourists hardly ever explore the island and that I should at least have somebody with me. I should have known better......Doh! They flag down a pickup and the driver without hesitation offers me and my sorry excuse for a scooter a ride. These guys are the nicest and most friendly people I have ever met. We go to the gas station where about 10 (no kidding) people converge on us to try and get the machine to fire. They are all laughing at how brave I am to ride such a machine and also to ride out into the country exploring. They give me water and are telling me all the spots to ride through where the tourists will never see. I get invited to dinner too! Nobody can get it to work after another 30 minutes and they try everything. Another guy gives me a ride back to the rental shack (it was a shack) promising to tell the guys if I get my money back or not (they are joking like crazy with me about how I would take such a piece of crap and really had me cracking up, they even place bets with each other on whether or not I'll get a refund!!!!). They coach me on how to go about complaining to the rental guy and the Bahamas Detective even gives me his information making me promise to call him if I don't get a full refund. Pretty cool huh? Well, I got a refund....an awesome ride (too short)...and got to see how kind and friendly the Bahamas people were. Even though I wish I had trusted my initial instincts, the whole experience was priceless. Next time though, I'm renting a new scooter and I'm going to finish that ride and check out the roads the local guys suggested.
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