Well, I needed to get a motorcycle license again. Before I bought the GS, I went to the DMV to get my motorcycle learners permit. It required me to pass a written test. (I answered 24 of 25 questions correctly?I forgot that when riding in a staggered formation it is best to move to a single-file line for curves and when entering and exiting highways.) With my learners permit in wallet, I was allowed me to ride my new bike during daylight hours without passengers and was required to wear a helmet. You then have six-months to get your regular motorcycle license which requires a motorcycle skills test.
Excellent! I was back on the road again. I had forgot how incredible riding can be. I was spending time getting used to my new bike and over the past two weeks I have put about 1,000 miles on the bike. My wife was getting anxious?and tired of me out every night on the ?new love of my life,? as she put it. She wanted to enjoy the bike as well and go riding with me, legally?she did sneak on a few time for rides to the frozen custard stand. We?re best friends and are used to doing everything together. I told her I would get my regular license. My eight-year old son was also bugging me for a ride on the bike, we bought him a helmet and his mom (ex-wife who wouldn't let me ride) is trying to brainwash the little guy that cycles are evil.
I called DMV to schedule an appointment for my road test. I was instructed to call the local technical college and enroll in a motorcycle safety course, then I would not have to take the motorcycle skill test. Great. Well, I spent the better part of a day calling the four technical colleges in and around Milwaukee and after hours of phone-tag and voice mail menu hell, I learn that all the courses are already filled. ?They fill up fast, you needed to call last September for classes this summer. Call next month to register for next summer?s classes.? That?s not really an option?without a license that will let my wife share the fun of our new GS, she would make me sell the bike! (Settle down, it's not for sale yet)
I called DMV back to schedule a motorcycle skill test. ?There is nothing scheduled in your area.? What? How can that be? ?We have a shortage of DMV testers who are licensed motorcycle riders and they have to travel the state doing tests?check back next month to see if we have one scheduled near Milwaukee.? NOT! She suggest that I call the local technical college to enroll in the motorcycle safety course. Please don?t go there ?mam. Let me know where and when the next test appointment is available. ?We have a 2:30 opening in Beaver Dam next Thursday, August 8th.? I?ll take it!
Beaver Dam is about 70 miles from Milwaukee in the middle of nowhere. (Billy-it?s not far Portage where you?re deadbeat friend is from, if I only knew yesterday, I would have made a short detour after my test to get your cash.) So I re-read the official DMV motorcycle handbook and practice my U-turns (if your feet come off the pegs, you automatically fail your test-YIKES!) and I?m ready to go!
Yesterday, test day arrives. I take a day of vacation. My wife plans to join me for a leisurely ride to Beaver Dam (Shhhhhhh, she?s not really back there). We have a great ride west out, of the city and through the country, stopping for a nice lunch and arrive in Beaver Dam about 2:00. I drop
Janet off at the local ShopKo (A local discount chain similar to K-mart) and head over to the DMV. I get in line and am waiting for a half-hour before ?Tester Bill? as his Wisconsin License Plate nametag proclaims, comes in the building and yells, ?All you biker guys outside, you don?t need to wait in line.? There?s 5 of us waiting in line and we follow Bill outside for his pre-test ?pep-talk? and our bike safety inspections.
Tester Bill explains that he is a retired state trooper (probably former military as well) and has been riding bikes for forty-years, it?s his job to make sure we?re ready for the road. If he doesn?t feel we?re ready, we don?t get our license. ?Oh yeah, and the official DMV handbook is wrong, I don?t want you putting both feed down at stops, I want you keeping your right foot on the peg and brake.? A curveball?all that practicing for nothing!
Then he checks all our bikes. I checked mine before leaving Milwaukee?everything worked properly. Wouldn?t you know it?my low beam went out on the ride to Beaver Dam. Tester Bill believes me, he?s going to let me take the test with my high beam on. (Wisconsin law requires a headlight on whenever a motorcycle is being operated, even during the day.) Whew! How would I explain that to my wife? Sorry honey, I couldn?t take the test so you?ll have to take a bus back to Milwaukee while I ride home and try to find a new headlight.
OK, we?re ready to be tested. I?m third in line. First up is farmer boy?17-ish, a big boy, husky we used to say when I was younger. He puts on the orange safety vest and places the ear piece in his hear and mounts his small Kawa. Tester Bill gets in his state-issued, gray Ford Taurus, rolls down his window and tells us waiting bikers he?ll be back in ?about 10-minutes.? He follows farmer boy out onto the road providing driving instructions through his transmitter to the bikers ear piece. Nearly a half-hour passes and we?re beginning to get nervous-this sure is no ?10-minute? test!
Farm
er boy comes pulling back into the DMV parking lot, takes his helmet off and his expression says it all?he gives the safety vest and headset to the next victim and moves over to Tester Bill?s car for the ugly re-cap??You failed son, you?re not ready.? Dejected, he gets back on his bike and rides off back to the farm.
Biker two is a thirty-something Harley-type guy with a brand new Yahama V-star. He gets set to go, Tester Bill tells us he?ll be back in about ?10-minutes.? New bikers to be tested are continuing to come into the DMV parking lot, there?s nearly a dozen now waiting. About 25 minutes goes by and Bill follows the Harley-type guy back into the parking lot. He takes off his helmet and he looks *@%^$*@%^$*@%^$*@%^$ed. It become clear that he did not pass the test either.
It?s after 4:00 and it?s my turn for the 2:30 test. The knots in my stomach tighten. Harley-type guy passes the baton to me, and I pull on the orange safety vest on and place the small headset into my ear just in time to hear Tester Bill bark, ?I haven?t had a break all day!? I suggest that a short break may be in order before my test. He shouts back, ?I don?t have time, look at all you guys wanted to get tested.?
My poor wife?she?s been stuck in ShopKo for the past two-hours. What can you do in a discount store for two hours?
I get on the bike, pull on my helmet and hear Tester Bill say, ?OK young feller, pull out whenever you?re ready.? I?m 43 years old, my shaved head makes me look older and I can?t remember the last time I?d been called ?young feller.? I pop my new GS into first as I hear Bill tell the waiting bikers, ?We?ll be back in about 10-minutes.?
I head out of the parking lot, stopping before turning onto the road, and hear through the static ?You don?t need to stop there!? as Bill shouts through his transmitter. Oh God, I?m done. I head into Beaver Dam carefully obeying the posted speed limit of 25 mph. Bill had instructed us in his pre-test ?pep-talk? that exceeding the speed limit
is an automatic fail! ?Try to keep it about 5 mph below the limit. I?m rolling through this small town, an hour away from home listening and obeying Tester Bill: ?Left at the light, right at the next corner, nod so I know you heard me, stop ahead parallel to the curb, do your U-turn, right . . . left . . . stop . . . left . . . left . . . right . . . change lanes . . . right, ride past me and when I say stop do a quick stop. Bill didn?t like my U-turn halfway through it he begins telling me ?that turn is going to get you in trouble some day, too much lean, you need to be more vertical.? When you don?t think it can get any worse, I kill my bike at a stop light. Oh boy.
It?s been about 10-minutes and Tester Bill tells me to take it back to the DMV office. I figure it?s over, I?m done! What a waste of a vacation day. On the way back to the station the speed limit briefly goes up to 35 mph so I?m able to get it out of second gear before pulling into the parking lot. I have half a notion to just keep going, not bothering to stop for Bill?s de-briefing in front of the waiting bikers. ?Park it here,? Bill orders and I stop the bike. I hand the safety vest and ear piece to the next rider as Tester Bill calls me over to his Taurus??You really know how to handle your bike son, congratulations, you passed.? I almost fell over right there and then. He hands me some forms and tells me to go in and get my license.
When I took my motorcycle test twenty-some years ago, all I had to do was ride around some cones in a parking lot. This was a new experience for me. I hope you all appreciate what you have and don?t let it lapse. I wouldn?t want anybody to go through the mess I went through.
It was nearly 6:00 when I returned to ShopKo to get my wife for her first legal ride on the GS. I had to wait for her, the local news media was interviewing her and the folks from Guinness were on their way, it seems she had set a new world record for amount of time spent in a discount store.
Sorry
, but my GS is NOT for sale, after putting on about 200 miles together yesterday, my wife loves it! We just need a new his & her seat, it has the original seat which isn?t comfy on the tuhsy on long rides. She wants to take a trip to Northern Wisconsin to the Apostle Islands on the bike?Yeah!
Thanks for a great forum and happy riding.
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