Today is the worst day in my life.

[yank]

Josh-TCK,Peace and keep the faith.

[El Giablo]

Josh, I am sorry for your loss. G.

[Kerry]

Condolences to you and your family. I hope it's some small comfort to you to know that you have support from your brothers and sisters here on the GSR Forums.

[dpep]

I wish there were something I could do or say to ease your loss, Josh, but I know the void is too great right now. It isn't often in life that time is actually your friend, but this is one of those occasions. As more of it passes the more that the joy and love you shared with your mother will crowd out the horrible events of yesterday in your thoughts. Look forward to that and in the meantime just keep putting one foot in front of the other one until you get there.

[mriddle]

I really like that Don ..

Josh you know it is true what Don writes about time ..

Experience what are feeling but hold it loosely so that it can fade ..

I tried to imagine my mom watching over me .. imagined she would be encouraging me to get on with my life as soon as I could ..

I wish there were something I could do or say to ease you loss, Josh, but I know the void is too great right now. It isn't often in life that time is actually your friend, but this is one of those occasions. As more of it passes the more that the joy and love you shared with your mother will crowd out the horrible events of yesterday in your thoughts. Look forward to that and in the meantime just keep putting one foot in front of the other one until you get there.

[nastyjones]

I cried when I read your first post. Sorry for your loss.

Paul

[azr]

Josh. Please accept my condolences. Losing a loved one, so suddenly, is the hardest thing. You must have so many things running through your head...go with what feels right and hold onto your beliefs because indeed there is a purpose to everything, even if we don't understand it. Eat when you can eat, and sleep when you can sleep. Take care my friend.

[Road_Clam]

I lost my dad to a crippling case of intestional cancer back in 1999, he was kind of an a$$hole to me a lot growing up, but it was still tough. I lost my mother to a sudden heart attack in 2006, and that was BRUTAL on me in all aspects of love and life trying to move foreward after her death. She was my unconditional friend, she was so kind to me and anyone around me. I know exactly your pain. It's not going to go away soon, the love a mother has for her son is again simply unconditional. What will help you as it did me, is family comfort, and try to cherish the warm loving times you had with your mom, and try not to cry so much about what is now.....My condolences as well on your tragic loss.

[Flyboy]

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss Josh, there is nothing I can say that is going to take the pain away, but although I have never met you, Know that I am thinking of you.
I lost my Mother to suicide when I was 13 and pretty much grew up on my own from the age of 14, as I read you describing your relationship with your mother, it was like reading about mine with my father, to the tee.
I found out he had died when I called his work to invite him to my wedding.
This was 11 years ago, and I still miss him so.
Time is the healer, although I know it may not feel so now, the pain will get easier, but it will never totally be gone.
Keep the faith, with time the thougts of her will be memories and not pain.

[Chris]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in thoughts and prayers of friends quite literally around the world tonight.

[Steve]

.. friends quite literally around the world tonight.

How true. Just look at the locations in the last five posts:
Ontario, Canada
British Columbia, Canada
New Hampshire, USA
South Africa
Japan.

'nuff said.

.

[chiphead]

My sincerest condolences.

[Flaggo60]

My thoughts and best wishes are with you. I'm sure that the love of those around you will be a great help to you through the days ahead.

[Detroit Diesel Man]

I am truly sorry for your loss...words alone cant express how a person feels but yours hit close to home with me and brought a tear to my eye...I will keep You and your family in my thoughts and my Prayers...Godbless



John(DDM)

[TheCafeKid]

This morning Poppy, Joe and I rode over to the funeral home to start making arrangements for my mothers cremation. Her doctor, who also happens to be my doctor, called me this morning to offer his condolences. But, in the process, his comments and questions to me only raises mor questions for me. He asked ME what had happened. I told him I didn't know anything, only that she'd passed away in her sleep. I told him I didn't understand why, unless she wasn't telling us something about her health that he knew. He told me only what I already knew. About a week ago he had seen her and diagnosed her with a touch of walking pneumonia. This wasn't uncommon, she had had it a couple times. She smoked, and while she recently had cut back quite a bit, the combination of her smoking, being slightly overweight, and her lack of regular activity due to the MS and the medicines she had to take for it, it made it easy for her to contract colds, flu, and other infections compared to most people. He had prescribed her heavy duty antibiotics, but so far they really hadn't kicked the infection, so she was supposed to go back to see him on Friday. I told him I was really confused as to why the coroner had not done any type of autopsy, tox screening or even come out to see her after shed passed away, and so quickly ruled it natural causes. It was almost as if as soon as the EMTs and Police informed him she was a 57 year old MS patient, that's all he needed to hear to make his ruling and close any examination as to the cause of death. Not that I think there was any sort of foul play, or that she had intentionally caused herself harm, but my mother was prescribed many different medications to help her cope with her conditions. Some of which were pretty heafty drugs, such as the Methadone she took for her pain. Often times she would wake up groggy after a nap, not realizing how long shed been out, and take more medicine before she should have. It got to the point where Bob had taken some of the more dangerous medicines from her and gave her the propper dosages at the propper time to prevent this from happening. My mother, being stubborn, independent and not one to have people take care of her most of the time, was angry over this, so recently Bob had been letting her keep her pills.
His first thought was that she may have taken too much of something, so he counted the pills himself, and she actually had taken LESS than she should have because she'd been sleeping so much lately.

At the funeral home today, it was a bit of a shock. Since she had no life insurance, Bob and myself will have to pay for her cremation and the death certificates required to close her bank accounts, stop her Medicaid and Medicare and the like. It's going to cost nearly $2000.00. Both Bob and I work for the same company, and while we make OK money, he still relied on my moms disability pay to help out with the mortage and bills they had. Obviously, that income is now gone, and he was worried, on top of everything else, about how he was going to pay for her service and still keep the house and bills caught up. I told him I'd help as much as I could, and my brother told him he would be moving home for a while to help out too. It's still going to be tight. I cannot offer much help financially, as most of our money is gone to bills too, but I told him I would liquidate what I could to help raise some money. He told me not to, but I don't care. So I'm gonna start selling off parts that I have here for whatever I can get out of them to help, and if necessary, even sell the ES at a discount to raise the money as quick as possible. Even after the funeral expenses are taken care of, he will still be stretched pretty thin. He and my mom bought that house together, and I don't want him to lose it as it's the only house they've ever owned. So I will do what I can. I am not asking for any sort of charity or anything of the like, but if you see any parts I have posted that you could use, please make an offer. At this point anything I can do to lessen his burden will help.

Thanks guys.

TCK