Today is the worst day in my life.

[Billy Ricks]

Josh, I know its been 10 days but this is the first time I've been on here in 2 weeks. This news is awful. I'm sorry for your loss. I've been a member for several years but never post much, if there is ever a reason to post it is now. This sort of hits home just days before your terrible loss my family learned that my Mom has a incurable neurological disease which is the reason I've haven't been on the site in so long. BUt this isn't about me. It is great to see so many people who have never met come together to give support to you and your family in the toughest of times. Your family is in my thoughts. Stuart

Well Stuart, I know Josh won't mind if we make this about you for a bit. So sorry to hear about your Mom. Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

[suzukiguybri]

Josh, prayers to you and yours, from me and all of mine.

Brian

[blokv1100]

Josh, I too was just doing my weekly check in and come across this sad news.

Sorry to hear of her passing.

From the moment I laid eyes on her at your wedding, she instantly reminded me of my mother in law (Vicki's mom). She looked just like her, she moved just like her and sat just like Sue.

Vicki's mom also passed away at an early age a couple of years ago. She was 56.

I even showed Vicki a picture of your mom to her so she could see the resemblance.

Peace be with you. Your in our thoughts.

[pmint patti]

Josh, You are still in our daily prayers..............pmiint

[TheCafeKid]

Josh, I know its been 10 days but this is the first time I've been on here in 2 weeks. This news is awful. I'm sorry for your loss. I've been a member for several years but never post much, if there is ever a reason to post it is now. This sort of hits home just days before your terrible loss my family learned that my Mom has a incurable neurological disease which is the reason I've haven't been on the site in so long. BUt this isn't about me. It is great to see so many people who have never met come together to give support to you and your family in the toughest of times. Your family is in my thoughts. Stuart

Thanks Stuart. And this place is full of wonderful, caring and thoughtful people that can prop you up in a time of need. I am still flabbergasted by all of the support and generosity and consideration of the members here. This isn't about ME, it's about everyone here. This wonderful place has become a second home and second family to me. And I hope that it will for you too.

I know all too well the impact of a neurological disease on a close family member, and the impact it can have on everyone in their family. My mother had Multiple Sclerosis, and battled with it since I was in third grade. There would be years at a time where she would live her life just like everyone else. And then there would be years at a time where she was more or less trapped in her own skin, her own home, and sometimes in her own bedroom. Couple coping with the effects of the illness with the effects it had on her psyche, and sometimes she didn't seem like the same person I had known as my mother as a child. I sometimes feel quite guilty for allowing myself to be so angry at her that we wouldn't speak for long periods of time because of the way she was, and acted. I like to think that sometimes she simply couldnt help it. I personally have pretty severe joint issues that cause me a great deal of pain. Over the last year or so ive been on medication to help with the pain and the swelling and the like, and my mood has been considerably better. But before, I know that a lot of times I was not a pleasant person to be around when it was particularly painful. I can only imagine it being much worse for someone in her case. So it's helped me to have a measure of understanding for her temperment at times. You and your loved one are in our thoughts and prayers. I hope that something changes and turns the corner for her and your family soon.

It's been the longest, but at the same time the fastest 10 days that I can remember in a long time. Just yesterday it dawned on me that it had already been a week since she'd passed away. It still feels like yesterday.
Admittedly, I really have not processed my feelings and the situation. Even still it doesnt seem real. I have simply busied myself with everything I can get my hands on. I swear I have accomplished more in the past week than I have in the past 6 months. With the help of Rose, and a few of my closer, in the literal sense, friends on the board, I have kept my mind occupied. The only time I have had trouble is at night. I feel so tired, and I know that I havent slept a restful, complete night in well over a week. I have been taking Melatonin to help me relax and fall asleep. And it does. For a couple of hours. Then im awake, sometimes pacing around the house. Sometimes I sit in the big living room chair in the dark. Sometimes I nod back off out there to be woken up shortly by the dog licking my hand to wake me up to let her out. These are the times when I think about things.

I know Rose has been a bit upset with me, because she feels like she's not helping somehow. But she is. She's been my rock for sure. As Ive said, I dont process this sort of stuff very well, and talking about it is even tougher for me. But I assured her that in due time I will talk to her about it. And I will. I know that I need to "deal with it", the emotions, but untill I know that Bob is ok, and that everything is going to be taken care of, I simply don't feel like it's time. Going back to work was a little tough. Of course everyone was concerned and asked how I was doing and hugs and what not. I appreciate it all, but honestly, at times I wish they would just let me get back to normal for now. It sounds cruel I guess, but it's just pretty tough still.

Bob called me today, and the permit came through for the cremation. She'll likely be cremated Monday or Tuesday, and they'll call him when it's time to pick up her remains. He and I talked about what to do about a "memorial service" and I think we have decided, at the suggestion of my grandmother, my mothers mother, to actually wait til my mother's birthday, November 14, to have a "Celebration of her Life" rather than a memorial service per se. I thought that was a fine idea.

Bob is dealing with it well. He's taken more time than I from work, just to get the house squared away. He again told me to thank ALL OF YOU, for all the support. He has been deeply moved that you all have taken such an interest in helping a man that most of you have never even met. Between what you guys have raised, and what work, both our employees and our bosses have raised, the cremation has been paid for, and he's on his way to sorting out all the left over expenses. You truly are all a Godsend, and *I* simply cannot thank you enough. There are not words to express the gratefullness and PRIDE that I feel to belong to such a great community of individuals from all over that make up such a perfect family.

I and Rose both simply say thanks, and we ask that you continue to keep us, and Bob and Joe in your prayers. It's been a huge help in getting back to the daily grind.

[portdave]

I am still praying for you Josh. I woke up thinking about you the other day and I prayed for you then. This is a great group and even though I read more than I post I am on here just about everyday. Nice to have the support thru the tough times and those to rejoice with during the good times. Lean on those around you. Here for you if I can do anything. God bless you and your family.

[pwrdbyoreos]

Wow. I was doing the usual sweep of the site when I came across this. I am so sorry to hear about this. It definitly re-grounded me and reminded me of the important things in life. The "real" issues if you will. I appreciate being a member of this site, and the people I have chatted with on here, and though we have not met or interfaced before I would still like to extend my condolences to you and your family. You've got a bike, I know spending time on mine clearing my head makes me feel better, get out and ride. </rant>

Jeff

[jonr]

Josh,

I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I can empathize with you completely as my father too passed away at 57 and I was driving 1000 miles to get there in time. I didn't make it. We too had an on/off again relationship in our last few years.

As hard as it might be for you now, I know from the few times that I've met you that you are strong individual and that you will find your way through this. My condolences to you and your family.

Next time, I'll bring the scotch.
Jon

[gser425]

To you that took time out of this terrible time for Josh and especially you Josh to think about or relate to me thank you. Josh it's great that some burden has been lifted and you can focus on other things beside the financial side of this. You sometimes wish time would stop during crisis so you only have to deal with one thing at a time and it sucks when things like money have to play a role in such devestating times. I can also relate to the wife having a difficult time feeling like they're powerless and figuring out what the best thing they can do you in times like these. So Rose, from experience I can also relay how much you have helped Josh through this and how much this can, in the end, make a bond that you thought couldn't get much stronger, grow to new limits. Take care of each other. Stuart

[Toronto 77 750]

Josh,
So sorry to hear about your mother. No matter if you are prepared or not, a death of someone close is always a real shock. I was thinking about you last week as I wanted to go for a long ride this weekend and report back to you as to how well the seat you sold me works. It looks like you and I had much bigger issues on hand. My prayers for you and your family.

This thread as hit home for me as I have not looked at the site for a couple of days due to being at the hospital with my mother. She was rushed to emergency last Friday with an infection. It now turns out that she has multiple issues which cannot be addressed due to her age and state of health. On Tuesday when we saw her last she was in good health spirits and other than a sore on her foot all was good. Little did we know what was coming to pass.
Essentially the Doctors have now informed us that there is very little that they can do for my mother other than manage her pain until she dies. When this might be, who knows for sure, tomorrow or next month. She is 85 years old so this is not completely unexpected but still not that easy to accept. In some ways I think we ride motorcycles because we like the feeling of being in control. In riding a motorcycle you have a sense of interaction with the controls and the dynamics of the machine where as in a car you are more of a mere passenger in the ride. Not being able to do something to control the situation only adds to the sorrow and frustration I am experiencing.

[pmint patti]

God Bless you also...My mom was 84...I still think about her everyday... and even "talk" to her. I am not ashamed. She is/was my best friend.

My heart is breaking for those of you who are just going thru this, loosing a parent...especially a mom, is tramatic.
May God watch over all of you, and you bet this family is always in my prayers. You all make me proud!
pmint

[KEITH KRAUSE]

Sorry to hear about your Mom. Been through it myself.
My relationship with my Mom wasn't what it should've been either. Things just happen. Time heals. Take care bud.

[pmint patti]

I think we should have a forgive "Mom day"!!!.......
Then there could be a "Forgive Dad".......
And a "Forgive Sibling Day".......
(Of course this should be every Day.)

Stuff happens, and you can loose a family member at any minute:
So, You don't need to feel guilty, Make up today.
Love you all,
pmint

PS. My dad and I had a falling out before he died...not good.

[GabrielGoes]

I think we should have a forgive "Mom day"!!!.......
Then there could be a "Forgive Dad".......
And a "Forgive Sibling Day".......
(Of course this should be every Day.)
.

that is absolutely genious haha think about it if it were actually on the calender you know atleast a handful of people would think twice about things!

[gbw]

I think we should have a forgive "Mom day"!!!.......
Then there could be a "Forgive Dad".......
And a "Forgive Sibling Day".......
(Of course this should be every Day.)

Great advice Patti! Should also apply to kids I try to forgive mine even when he won't forgive me. Mine is still young, so hopefully we have years and years of forgiving each other ahead of us.