Of course, those instructions may be aimed at selling more helmets, but I'd hate to be the corpse or vegetable that verified the sales pitch.
The used helmet stuff follows logically from the fitting/dropping concerns. If a drop ruins the helmet, a used helmet would have a big question mark. If age weakens foam, a used helmet probably has more age than you want. If the foam shapes to your head, again the used helmet is suspect. Plus, wearing something full of some other dude's hair grease and halitosis is enough to keep me away from used helmets.
As for mail-order fitting, I would order a helmet online, but only if I could return it if the fit was no good. I do the same thing with shoes. So long as there is a return option (which there may not be given the fitting stuff), that is just a sequencing issue. That said, I bought my helmet from a shop in person. It was my first helmet, and head sizing is not something I know as well as ordinary clothing.
Even if a poor fitting helmet is not a technical danger, it increases the annoyance of wearing one. You are less likely to blow off putting on a comfortable helmet for that short ride to the store. IMO comfortable fit equals safety in that regard.
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