Are you dressed properly?

[Guest]

I had to share this and didn't wish to post it in the often boycotted OT section.(for good reasons)

It is all about appearance so...

Pirates Vs. Power Rangers

http://rideapart.com/2009/11/pirates-vs-power-rangers-a-guide-to-dressing-up-like-a-real-biker/

http://rideapart.com/2009/11/pirates-vs-power-rangers-a-guide-to-dressing-up-like-a-real-biker/2/

And from the comments...

For Steve (we have seen your videos ) from the comments...
Wingnut

Bike: Honda Goldwing, or reasonable facsimile thereof.

Helmet: 3/4 helmet, preferably matching bike color (especially if it's a fab color like "wine") with large microphone for intercom system. Alternate: Modular helmet with chinbar permanently up.
Eyewear: Bifocals in large gold frames.
Facial Expression: A grimace toward anyone under 60.
Facial hair: grey stubble (can't find razor amongst 300 cubic feet of luggage).
Necklace:Gold (cross optional), accessorized with medical bracelet.
Body wear: Light blue shirt of at least 50% polyester construction, at least one pocket mandatory. Leather bomber jacket with large rear patch of military branch of choice for cold weather use. Slacks round out ensemble.
Kneesliders: Does an artifical knee count?
Footwear: Hushpuppy or Rockport.
Tattoos: Military branch of choice.
Passenger: Grandma (or sometimes a stuffed animal)

Trevor is going to have to do some shopping! ( and grow a mustache/attitude adjustment)...
Anti-Class Elitist

Bike: BMW. Only a BMW. Forever.
Saddlebags festooned with stickers from every known town that you've ridden through that sells a sticker. The more road grime the better. Add every possible electronic gadget known to man to the point where you have to change the front suspension settings to handle the extra weight.
Helmet: Only an approved modular will do. Nolan, Schuberth, Roof, Shoei. The jury is still out on Scorpion as not enough research has been done yet. Motoman sticker required.
Apparel: Aerostich one piece suit in any lurid combination combo that matches nothing on the known planet and never will. Drag said suit through a dusty field and spray with BMW Spray On Bug Guts before wearing.
Attitude: Disdain. Nobody rides farther than you and you can prove it by the stickers, dusty suit and spray on bugs. Car drivers are the devil and should be banned from cell-phone use. By the way, let me show you my new Scala Rider.
Facial hair: Big bushy moustache.
Tattoos: You must be joking.
Facial Expression. Grimace. After all, you've ridden 11,000 miles before breakfast.
Breakfast. Weekly meeting at semi-greasy spoon where the group ALWAYS sits at the same table and fills it from from one end to the other based on arrival time.
Eyewear. Flip down inner visor.
Passenger: If she rides with you, she has a contrasting lurid suit but it's much cleaner. Most of the time, she stays home because you said so.
Footwear. Badly scuffed waterproof boots. Black only and bought for comfort as you walk around the BMW rally in them with a pair of shorts and floppy, khaki, stringed hat.

LOL!

[trevor]

LOl...that was a FUN read!! I see I DO have some shopping to do.

Thanks for posting.

[Steve]

Either I am not a true "wingnut" or I have a lot of shopping to do, too.

I'll just add my comments:

For Steve (we have seen your videos ) from the comments...
Wingnut

Bike: Honda Goldwing, or reasonable facsimile thereof.
Check.

Helmet: 3/4 helmet, preferably matching bike color (especially if it's a fab color like "wine") with large microphone for intercom system. Alternate: Modular helmet with chinbar permanently up.
Sorry, black full-face helmet, blue Wing, although the GS is black. The microphone is built-in to the chin bar, size can not be detected from outside. Don't like modular helmets.

Eyewear: Bifocals in large gold frames.
Yes and no. I do have bifocals, but seldom wear them. Frames are titanium, not gold.

Facial Expression: A grimace toward anyone under 60.
No descrimination, I grimace at EVERYBODY.

Facial hair: grey stubble (can't find razor amongst 300 cubic feet of luggage).
It's a little more than "stubble", and I don' need no stinkin' razor (for several days at a time.

Necklace:Gold (cross optional), accessorized with medical bracelet.
No jewelry here, no medical bracelet, either.

Body wear: Light blue shirt of at least 50% polyester construction, at least one pocket mandatory. Leather bomber jacket with large rear patch of military branch of choice for cold weather use. Slacks round out ensemble.
Shirt might be about any color, but blue is preferred. No leather here, no military patches, either. Do jeans count as "slacks"?

Kneesliders: Does an artifical knee count?
No kneesliders, no artificial body parts.

Footwear: Hushpuppy or Rockport.
RedWing boots.

Tattoos: Military branch of choice.
None.

Passenger: Grandma (or sometimes a stuffed animal)
Actually is was "mother", and unfortunately, just once, but the stuffed animal has happened.

.

[Nicholk]

This was a gift from friends many years ago and still is displayed in my kitchen...!