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G
Guest
Guest
Ya think he is upset? :lol:
I like the rat poison idea.
I like the rat poison idea.
S
stiksave
Guest
Hilarious!
L
lurch12_2000
Guest
Since we've been handing out free, clean needles to the junkies for awhile, why not start handing out our old, perfectly good, used spark plugs to the crackheads. This will get that big can of old plugs out of my garage, recycle them and perform a community service all at once.:idea:
This was from a craigslist savannah post that has been pulled, but is pretty funny, and a LITTLE related to the thread. Hope you enjoy!
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )
I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
hand
over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also
asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took
my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening,
and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me
that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a
shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm
sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell
phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your
buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
calling
your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining
to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave
your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along
with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your
bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the
line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't
know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off
your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's
office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did
this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm
sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd
like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand
did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for
not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm
hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you
might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do
lunch and laundry. Peace! - Alex
If only more law abiding citizens carried legal firearms.
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )
I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
hand
over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also
asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took
my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening,
and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me
that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a
shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm
sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell
phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your
buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
calling
your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining
to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave
your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along
with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your
bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the
line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't
know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off
your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's
office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did
this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm
sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd
like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand
did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for
not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm
hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you
might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do
lunch and laundry. Peace! - Alex
If only more law abiding citizens carried legal firearms.
B
Billyboy
Guest
HA! I love 'em! Both of them!
S
sharpy
Guest
I take rat poision every nite. (wafaran) the joys of having a mild heart attack LOL. But its only a mild dose. I say do the spark plugs and let them sort it out.
G
GearHead
Guest
That is great. I about fell outa my chair reading about the sparkplugs. 
G
Gravity Tester
Guest
I had no Idea Craigs List had a best of section. I am going to try & find it now. That was a HOOT.
Pat
Pat
G
Guest
Guest
I really did Laugh Out Loud. Thanks.
S
Skunky
Guest
Classic stuff...I would definately drop the rat poison and purchase a gun trying to recreate the c-list ****ty pants episode. But a 2X4 across the back, as he's sawing away, works for me too.
J
julien
Guest
Has to be the same person...
Has to be the same person...
that is no luck... either it is the same c@#$%&head or someone that he got upset. I feel for him though.
Has to be the same person...
that is no luck... either it is the same c@#$%&head or someone that he got upset. I feel for him though.
S
shirazdrum
Guest
I'm glad you had a good laugh.
B
BassCliff
Guest
Now THAT'S funny right there. Thanks for sharing.
Even Mrs. BassCliff laughed!
Thank you for your indulgence,
BassCliff
Even Mrs. BassCliff laughed!
Thank you for your indulgence,
BassCliff
B
Billy Ricks
Guest
I really can't imagine anyone taking the time to use a hacksaw, especially a crackhead, to saw off plugs when they snap off with a little effort. Kind of makes this story sound fabricated.
