Could some of you Canadians convince me that it's not unreasonable to go for a short ride today?
Who takes the cake for lowest-degree-ride today?
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70 above (+19 deg. Celsius): Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes. 60 above (+14 C): North Carolinians try to turn on the heat. People in Canada plant gardens. 50 above (+9 C): Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Canada sunbathe. 40 above (+4 C): Italian and English cars won't start. People in Canada drive with the windows down. 32 above (0 C): Distilled water freezes. Lake Superior's water gets thicker. 20 above (-6 C): Floridians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats. People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt. 15 above (-8.5 C): Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold. 0 degrees (-18 C): People in Miami all die. Canadians lick the flagpole. 20 below (-26 C): Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Canada get out their winter coats. 40 below (-36 C): Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Guides in Canada re selling cookies door to door. 60 below (-46 C): Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. 80 below (-56 C): Mt. St. Helens freezes. People in Canada rent some videos. 100 below (-66 C): Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg. 297 below (-164.5 C): Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands. 460 below (-246 C): ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale). People in Canada start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 500 below (-266 C): Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup. |
15 above (-8.5 C): Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold. |
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