I take your point about 2 seconds key on being "trivial" and it's fine to say that "my battery falls to a certain voltage and stays there" indicates that it can do that for awhile. But starting the bike being "a poor test" seems pretty odd to me. It's what I want it to do and it's what the battery is designed for.
As to key-on test, "and "internal resistance" etc etc etc etc, doesn't it suppose all Suzukis have equal key-on loads? I suppose I can figure out a sum of 10 amps if I don't have an LED headlamp but You don't exactly say what a reading of your method is going to tell anyone. Judging by your reference to your "quick test", nobody is going to "pass" the test as "normal" unless they have a brand new battery....or should I expect a 1/2 volt drop?
A real load test is done out of the bike for this reason-separating it from the bike's problems. ....as to the "only way to test the battery" well... I mentioned a hydrometer. I don't agree that that's "deflection and distraction". It tests each cell and is crucial to gauging battery health whether it's a new or old battery...(the point of my anecdote) I'll certainly miss them as the no-maintenance batteries take over because getting a gaurantee honored is going to be less... "user accessible"?
But there's tons of info on "battery-wanking" online.
http://batteryuniversity.com/learn/article/bu_914_battery_test_summary_table
It isn't a super-duper test but a simple voltage test on a battery on the bench or in the bike before you turn the key can be done on almost any battery. There's a simple tablesomewhere but hey, IMO 12.5 and up is pretty good, 12.2 and below is getting iffy. Easy.
sure, if I have it right? you can turn the key and take 1/2 a volt off that. So what?
Combining whichever simple test with trying to start the bike a few times and running around to charge it up to do it again, it's what I think most of us want to know- Will it start the bike and "gee-should-I-think-seriously-of-replacing-the-battery-before-buying-bling".
So you know, I have a BSEE and MSECE with over 30 years experience. I worked under contract directly for US Army customers responsible for maintaining all the large tactical vehicles. As part of our team analysis, the conclusion of any diagnostic testing for the charging systems was that an integrated test , observing charging current and voltage under different conditions was the simplest way to diagnose that class of problems. Our objective was to identify the cheapest and most reliable methods for automatic diagnostics.
How does this apply to the GS Charging system? Well it is very similar; the same three components Battery, Charging, Load. The biggest difference with a GS is 1/2 the people don't seem to even have a voltmeter, don't have a clue about electricity and much less about diagnostics. A complex test or a test with many possible outcomes (Prateo Outcomes; the probability of all possible outcomes) is not going to be easy for this group of people to implement.
Yes the Quick test is based on a standard load. All licensed UJM's with non-EFI are going to have very similar loads due to DoT regulations for headlamps and tail lights. All coils are 3-4 ohms. EFI will bring in a large load fro a fuel pump. That all said, all you have to do is adjust the numbers up or down oin proportion to the actual load current to adjust the expected voltage readings.
If you expect a 1V drop for 10 amps, and you install LEDs and only have a 5 amp load then expect only 0.5V drop. The drop should be in direct proportion to the load.
Getting back to possible outcomes, the reason why starting the bike is not a good test for a battery is because it is not quantitative. Measuring a voltage even despite a few caveats is quantitative. It is therefore much easier to diagnose a members GS just from those readings alone without hearing the bike.
In addition, there are many possibilities like the solenoid just clicks, the solenoid is not grounded, the starter is dragging, the carbs are fouled, the battery connections are loose. With the Quick test, Key ON , anybody can see if their headlamp and tail lights are on. and hopefully, measure the 12V at the battery and see the small changes as you progress through the rest of the test.
Recall the Quick test is a quick integrated evaluation to establish a baseline to direct further testing. By the historical record, it is very effective at effectively supporting charging system diagnostics. The original stator pages were simply too complex for many people. The primary characteristics of the original stator tests were that some tests were unnecessary or had indeterminate outcomes which only increased the complicated of further testing.